OUDAM.COM

Many Cambodians I meet are surprised to learn that I immigrated to the U.S. at the age of nine because I speak Khmer fluently. I believe that language is the most important determinant of cultural identity. The language that we speak most defines who we are. I speak Khmer most of the time.

Another important factor is the food we eat.

I recall one day in high school when my American friends and I got together for a party at one of my friends’ house. We’d each bring a dish to share with everyone else.

I showed up with a platter of grilled fishball kabobs marinated in oyster sauce and other condiments, which took me hours to prepare.

My American host half-jokingly asked, “What the hell is that, Oudam? I hope you’re not bringing dog meat into my house!” His remark drew a huge laugh from the crowd gathered around us. I told him that they were barbecued fishballs marinated with oyster sauce. The laughs turned into cries of “Uggggg”, “Yuck”, “Ewww” and “Disgusting”. I tried to explain to them that the fishballs were just like meatballs, except that they were made from fish instead of beef.

But the host wouldn’t hear of it. He ordered me, again in a half-joking manner, to “get that shit out of my house.” Although I was deeply embarrassed, I pretended to laugh along as if I was not affected by his racist antics and proceeded to set the platter on the table.

This happened 20 years ago. America is a lot more ethnically and culturally diverse today than it was back in my high school days. I hear that they are serving sushi in some middle schools now. I think that is great news! Sushi used to be something that kids brought up to racially taunt Asians. Nowadays, I see little white kids no older than 6 or 7 years old munching on raw fish in Japanese restaurants all the time.

We eat to live and sometimes live to eat. Culinary differences can make it very difficult for people from different cultural backgrounds to mix. I for one would not give up prahok, kapik, or tuk trey to fit in with my American friends. When I’m in a social gathering with fellow Khmer people, I can munch on bok la-hong or green mangoes dipped in steamed prahok without fear of grossing people out. I would not have to nibble on carrot sticks and potato chips and lie to the host how wonderful her food is.

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