OUDAM.COM

Hi Everyone,

I want to introduce to you a new project which I have been working on recently: Growth.ws. The site focuses on mindfulness, personal growth, and spiritual development.

Having developed nearly a hundred websites, I rarely post messages to promote new sites. But I feel that Growth.ws is a really worthwhile project which I had planned to create years ago but kept procrastinating until very recently.

http://www.growth.ws

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I just read a wonderful book entitled The Present by Spencer Johnson, author of the famous business motivation book, Who Moved My Cheese?

I managed to read The Present from front to back cover in less than one hour without skipping any pages– not because I’m a quick reader, but because it’s only 109 pages long, printed in large fonts.

Besides, I am very familiar with the subject matter. The book focuses on a single message– to live in the Present moment to become more successful at work and in life.

My only complaint about the book is how anyone could write an entire book on mindfulness and living in the present moment without once making a reference to Buddhism. While it’s true that mindfulness is a universal concept not confined to Buddhism, no other system of thought provides a more thorough and deeper treatment of the subject matter.

In fact, many Western self-help books, whether or not they give credit to Buddhism, draw heavily from the teachings of the Buddha. Stories are weaved around Buddhist principles and told by experts in various fields to cash in on the multi-billion-dollar self-help industry.

The Present is something that I could have written myself. In fact, I was half-way finished on a book on the same subject but decided to put the project on hold indefinitely as I became mindful of the fact that I’d have to not only write the book, but also play the roles of the publisher, marketer, and distributor for my work. Although I could fulfill these roles, I just couldn’t find the time to do all these things while keeping my day job to pay the bills.

I think the difference between successful self-help gurus who make millions writing books and would-be self-help gurus like you and me is not so much the talent, knowledge or experience, or that the professional gurus are somehow more adept at managing their own lives. If that were the case, then some of the most successful authors of self-help books on relationship wouldn’t have experienced multiple divorces themselves. The difference, in my view, is having the right set of circumstances (connections, resources, etc.) to ensure commercial success.

At any rate, reading these self-help books can prove very productive as they encourage readers to know more about themselves and to make the necessary changes in their lives to become happier, wealthier, more attractive to the opposite sex, and whatever.

Better yet, they can even pave the way to Buddhism.

Discuss this topic on Khmercity.net

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Dear Steve,

Thanks for your inspiring account. Through this website, I hope to build a bridge for young Cambodians from around the world to celebrate their Khmer heritage and reconnect with their roots. I am very encouraged to find bright young overseas Cambodians like you take an interest in the rebuilding of our beloved homeland.

You are absolutely right that Cambodia is not the hell hole as it is sometimes made out to be by the naysayers. You just have to visit the country and decide for yourself. Sometimes, the negativity alone can keep good, decent people from visiting our heavily tourism-dependent country.

As for the Cambodian people’s apparent apathy toward the “old white geezers who run around with young Khmer girls,” I think this is an area where you and I can make a major impact. Remember that Cambodia is still reeling from decades of war and destruction, so the most important thing on most people’s minds is day-to-day survival, not sexual exploitation of our women and children by foreigners. The “old white geezers” recognize the extreme poverty in our country and simply move in to prey on less fortunate people. Some of them may find a twisted sense of psychological victory in sexually dominating a race they view inferior to them.

You must understand that many Cambodians associate Westerners with wealth, power, and even righteousness. Consequently, the mischiefs of some Westerners in Cambodia tend to become, over time, normalized and even accepted by the Cambodian people. In fact, some people in Cambodia even consider a teen-aged Khmer girl to be “somnang” (fortunate) to be hitched to a middle-aged white man.

As Cambodians from overseas, we can help explain to our compatriots back home that these behaviors are neither normal nor acceptable in Western societies. In fact, here in America incarcerated child molesters are so hated that they are routinely beaten– even killed– by fellow inmates. While I don’t condone this type of vigilante justice, it’s indicative of the level of revulsion, even among thieves and murderers, that Americans have for sex predators. This is a major reason that the pedophiles are venturing overseas to take advantage of poor law enforcement in developing countries like Cambodia.

When I visit Cambodia, I don’t get angry when my relatives, friends and acquaintances condone the sexual exploits of the “old white geezers.” I just take the time to calmly explain and educate them about how Western societies view sexual predators, and how our apathy toward them is hurting our honor and national image. If my compatriots do not agree with my stance, or simply pretend to sympathize with me just to get on my good side, then all I could do is to distance myself from them and focus on the things that I could do. For instance, I would personally boycott any restaurants and hotels whose employees smile and bow at foreign customers but not at their own kind. I know my boycott may not run them out of business, but I do it anyway because it’s the right thing to do.

You don’t have to accept what you know to be wrong just because you feel powerless to make a difference. There are many skillful and respectful ways you can influence positive changes without being seen as overbearing or confrontational. Remember that most Cambodians are not privileged to travel back and forth between Cambodia and foreign countries, so they don’t have a personal understanding of outside cultures like we do. Many rely on information they hear from their friends and relatives, the media, and even from the foreign “sexpats” themselves.

Cambodian expatriates wield a lot of economic and social power when we return to our homeland; we just have to play our cards right and use our influences to encourage positive changes in calm, realistic and intelligent ways.

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How might Buddha deal with corruption?

Since Cambodia is a predominantly Buddhist society very much afflicted by abusive and unjust practices collectively known as “corruption,” I think this would be a good question to ask.

Although I have a few ideas, I’m not going to write another long, boring essay on this topic but will instead rely on your responses to come to a better understanding.

To avoid confusion I think it would be appropriate to mention that by “corruption,” I’m referring to the broadest definition of the word. Simply put, corruption is the lack of integrity. This broad definition encompasses both specific manifestations of corruption, such as bribery, graft and nepotism, and its more general forms, such as moral corruption.

Would Buddha even use the word “corruption” at all? After all, I think “corruption” is largely a Western conceptualization and Buddhism had existed long before the word ever became popular.

Respond to this topic on Khmercity.net!

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I’m nearing the end of my vacation in Cambodia, and although I will be very happy to reunite with my friends and family in Texas, I can’t say I’m too thrilled about leaving Cambodia. I’m almost 100% sure that I will return to Cambodia soon, next time to stay for good. I’ll still be traveling back and forth between Cambodia and America, but I’ll go to the U.S. only to visit, not to stay.

I keep telling people here if they could make $400 to $500 a month, they’d be better off in Cambodia than anywhere else in the world. Some agree; others still want to leave at all costs. Someone told me that if Cambodians were allowed to immigrate to other countries at will, they’d be very few Khmers left in Cambodia. And as much as I hate to admit it, I think he might be right.

I don’t have any problems with people wanting to leave. People might want to leave for a variety of personal, economic and political reasons. Truth be told, it’s not that easy to make $400 to $500 a month here. Many young Cambodians have trouble finding jobs when they finish school, and college graduates start out at just $100 to $200 a month. Granted, academic standards are lower here; a Bachelor’s Degree here is not quite equivalent to one earned in the U.S. Still, $150 is not much even in Cambodia, especially at today’s inflation rates. Thankfully, things are improving as Cambodia is undergoing a rapid transition toward a more democratic and economically developed country.

Some people want to leave Cambodia because they view living in a Western country as some sort of status symbol. They argue that they need to leave Cambodia in order to have “jivit thlai thno” (dignified life) in some foreign land. This I’d have to disagree with. If they cannot have “jivit thlai thno” in Srok Khmer, how can they have one anywhere else?

Cambodians immigrate to America, Canada, and France only because there are already large Khmer communities there to help them adapt to their new environments. No one wants to go to Japan, Great Britain, or other rich nations where there are very few Khmers. In my view, there is a problem with the logic of wanting to flee from your own people only to seek out your own people elsewhere.

The good news is that more and more people agree with me when I tell them that there is nothing special (”veer kmean sa-ey oss ja thay”) about living in America. Apparently, more and more Cambodians from abroad are coming here to speak the truth about their adopted countries. They speak about the benefits as well as the challenges of living overseas. They’re no longer using their “anik-a-joun” (Cambodians living abroad) status to garner special attention from the locals.

As for myself, I am convinced that I’d have a much more successful and meaningful life in Cambodia if my family had never fled the country 27 years ago. I don’t blame my parents for their decision to flee Cambodia in 1980 because the circumstances were very different back. I’m going to cut my losses short and move back to Cambodia as soon as I can. However, I’ll come back as somewhat of an outsider, after having spent most of my childhood and adulthood abroad. Although I am very grateful for the education I received in the U.S., I had lost much of the ability to relate with my own people and will have to basically start all over again.

My future home.

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